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Word Gems 

exploring self-realization, sacred personhood, and full humanity

 


Soulmate, Myself:
Omega Point

Kairissi & Elenchus:

XV
 

 

 

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E. Kriss… I’m not doing very well… I need to talk this out… Sometimes I think I’m ok, that we’ve settled things, but, the truth is… I’m not ok. I know we’ve been over this and over this, about what happened to us, but then the old images of what you said oppress and haunt me.

K. (silence)

E. My problem is… I don’t know if I can forgive you… I want to, I’ve tried very hard; but… as we’ve learned, forgiveness is not a matter of trying hard -- that’s just one more mask to wear, and we’ve worn enough of those, and “held them up with two hands.” I’m so tired of masks.

K. (silence)

E. I know what Spirit-Guide Abu says about things like this. He quotes Jesus’ teaching, “They know not what they do.” And that helps me with others in life who've caused me trouble. But it doesn’t help me with you; it doesn’t make sense with you. You were the one to teach me about the meaning of love; you were the one who came to me with the “extreme delight”; you were the one to awaken me. But then, like Lana, you pretended it never happened. You betrayed my open heart, you trampled on my sincere offer of love. I can’t make sense of that. How could you go back to the old ways of anger and petulance after what we experienced together? Everyday I try to make sense of this, but I cannot. And so… I’m not able to trust you… I can’t deal with this.

K. (sighing)

 

"Can you even remember who you really are anymore?

“Nights in Rodanthe” (2008)
Paul (Richard Gere), Adrienne (Diane Lane)

Adrienne: What are you so afraid of?

Paul: What are you so afraid of?

A. (taken off balance)

P. How long have you been married?

A. What does that have to do with anything?

P. Can you even remember who you really are anymore?

A. (becoming angry, feeling insulted)

P. It's all about choices, Adrienne. You make choices. You chose that life. You chose that man. And now (though you know it's wrong, as you deny your own sacred intuitions) you're going back to him, aren't you? (with the lame excuse "it's for the children" as you model a deep-seated misery and fatalism for them)

A. (very angry, hating) Just stop it!! stop it!! (stomps away)

 

K. Ellus... can we not just start again, and set aside all the chaos that beset us, even since we were kids? Haven’t we spent enough of our lives working against each other, trying to be rid of the other, ignoring each other, stomping away in anger? Can we not write a new chapter and put away the old spitefulness? (sighing) When will this nightmare end, Elenchus? Haven’t we lost enough yet? Haven't we created enough suffering? Haven’t we ruined enough happiness? When will we be able to forgive and begin anew and simply love each other?

E. (silence)

 

E. I’ve been thinking about what you’ve said; but… it doesn’t ring true.

K. What do you mean?

E. You say, “haven’t we suffered enough, haven’t we lost enough?” – but, I don’t think it’s that simple.

K. (softly) Why not?

E. My suffering – my suffering for you – has changed me. But I don’t think your suffering has done the same for you.

K. (silence)

E. The problem is, Kriss, I just don’t trust you. Well, I do trust your truest heart, but when that dark side of you comes out, I don’t know who you are; worse, you don’t know me. You treat me like some kind of stranger or enemy… Your unkindesses have been so spectacular and breathtaking… you become a different person when you lose yourself that way, somebody I don't even recognize... I can't be with someone who isn't able to cherish me as I do her.

K. (sighing)

E. This is how it’s been for us since you were a young girl. Sometimes you’d be so happy to be with me, but then this other side of you comes out, you become vicious, and then I don't recognize you… We used to make excuses for you, referring to your mercuriality as "artistic temperament"; but – we can’t play hide-and-seek games like that anymore.

K. (softly) A long time ago, Lateece and Day Star warned me of this… that I was interacting with you just as any Mary would… that I had not yet built my love for you on a foundation of the “true self.”

E. Kriss… I think you need time to “make your music pure.” I can’t be with you now, not until you go through your own “long dark night”; being together, without a good measure of maturity, would just make you worse, and both of us miserable.

K. (silence)

 

 

you would let me walk away - again

STNG, season two, episode “The Emissary”

 

Is there anything else you require?

No... nothing else.

(she walks to the transporter, then turns)

Damn you, Worf!! You would let me walk away - again! - without saying another word, wouldn't you!

What needs to be said?

Nothing! … Everything! … We're about to go our separate ways again...

(long pause from him, then)

Kalar! ... I will not be complete… without you…