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Word Gems 

exploring self-realization, sacred personhood, and full humanity

How To Sit Quietly
In A Room Alone

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I have noticed, especially during unguarded moments – not all the time, but too many times – the dysfunctional ego searching the “memory banks” of private fears for whatever unpleasant image it might retrieve.

the radio dial is actually a panic-button

What is it like? It’s like an FM radio, in “scan mode”, searching for the nearest station. In this “scan mode”, the images conjured are never good ones, only the unpleasant. Why is this?

"When one is afraid, one wants to get rid of this fear, one wants to put it aside. And you do it by turning on the radio, taking a drink or reading a novel, or by going to church or committing yourself to a particular course of action: anything rather than face that absolute reality of fear." Jiddu Krishnamurti, May 11, 1968, lecture in Amsterdam

In these writings concerning the “small quiet room”, we’ve discussed the goal of entering in a higher level of consciousness. Ultimately, that heightened awareness will lead us to perceptions of the soul's inner joy. However, sometimes the path thereto is not straightforward; most often, our task in the “small quiet room”, as preparatory work, is to become aware of the fears impinging upon our spirits.

some people turn on the radio or tv as others turn to eating or drinking too much

In times past, I might have been visiting a relative I’d not seen, possibly, for some years. We’d be sitting in a living room, ostensibly attempting to have a conversation, but, in the background, the radio or tv would be blaring; and not with small decibels but so loud that talking was difficult. On one occasion – two incidents like this, actually -- it was so bad that, like something out of a Carol Burnett skit, the close relative simply continued to stare fixedly at the tv screen, ignoring me, sitting nearby.

some people turn on the radio or tv as others cling to belief-systems, religious or political

It takes a bit of awareness and introspection to perceive that one’s adherence to the “family gods” and “one true doctrines” are, in reality, a security blanket, an expression of underlying fear in one’s life.

some people turn on the radio or tv as others enter into John-and-Mary relationships

It took me a long time to see this. As we’ve often discussed elsewhere, John and Mary attempt to assuage an array of fears in their “you must make me happy” negotiations.

we don’t realize the extent to which our fears lead, craft, influence, and impinge upon our lives

In the unenlightened state, we have little idea. The great psychologists, however, are well aware of the malady. They call it repression.

We turn on the radio or tv. We say we want to listen to music or see a movie. But, what we’re really doing is distracting ourselves from the inner fears. We can't bear to be alone with our own thoughts.

We eat too much, drink too much, shop too much, buy too much. We say we just want to have a little fun. But, what we’re really trying to do is tamp down the pain inside.

We say we want to get married. We say we’re in love. But, what we’re really doing is negotiating with the fears of being rejected, never finding happiness, being left on the shelf, being disapproved of by friends and relatives as a loser, growing old alone, and many other terrors.

Though our fears are manifold, most times, we claim to be feeling just fine.

But the great psychologists would not be impressed; again, they call it repression. Even the tribal leader in the Dark Realms said he was feeling so chipper.

the greatest benefit, in practical terms, of the small quiet room

As stated, ultimately, the kind of awareness we want is that of perceiving the inner joy of the soul.

However, before we can we can access that inner joy, we need to remove the blockages. That would be our fears.

When you're quietly alone, ask yourself:

How am I feeling right now? Is there an agitation in my spirit? Often there is, large or small. If we’ve had a bad day, this question will be easy to answer, but sometimes the “ripple on the pond” will be slight. We’re bothered by something but we can’t quite make it out. Mentally focus on the slight agitation. Don’t judge it, don't name or talk to it, don’t try to avoid it or condemn it, just mentally watch it, taste it. Relax, with "choiceless awareness", and flow in the energy of the agitation. Where is it taking you?

When you learn how to do this you will be treated to a magical-mystical inner tour, all the way to the center of that agitation. You will see what it’s made of, where it came from.

we should pin and label our fears, like examining an insect under a microscope

Here’s what will happen. The ego has been tormenting us, all of our lives, with unexamined fears. It draws its energy from our reactiveness, both overt and subliminal.

But if we shine a mental spotlight on the fear – guess what – it will begin to shrivel; as will the ego itself. The ego, by its nature, desires to operate in the dark, without one's knowledge or awareness.

But sunlight is the best disinfectant.