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Word Gems

self-knowledge, authentic living, full humanity, continual awakening

Authentic Love and Marriage

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Kairissi. We’d like to share with our readers that what we’ve said in these discussions concerning the marriage of Love and Wisdom, it’s becoming clear to us, still needs some work. It’s not right.

Elenchus. We’ve suggested that, while a properly united Love and Wisdom will virtually always agree, in those rare instances when viewpoints differ, he will have the last word, and his word is final. This presents a picture of Twin-Soul decision-making which would never, ever occur. There’s something really errant with this view.

K. And now we’ve confused everyone, because – isn’t it right and proper that one of them should have the “tie-breaking” vote? And isn’t it inevitable that even congenial minds would eventually find disagreement on something?

E. This sounds very logical and reasonable, and it is a civil way of resolving issues, but this state of loggerheads would never, ever occur between spiritually mature Twin Souls.

K. Let’s explain, as we now see it, where we went wrong in our earlier dialogues. The error began with a misdefinition of terms. We allowed a degree of worldly concept to taint the meaning of Love and Wisdom.

E. Suddenly there is a great deal to say here, on a subject which we’d believed had been adequately addressed, but now we struggle to make ourselves clear with many concepts demanding revision.

K. We must proceed slowly, even for our own benefit, as we perform the autopsy of skewed perception.

E. Allow me to put forward, as we began our talks here, there was a subtle fear for me which colored my views. I was laboring under an unspoken concern that Love and Wisdom might have different agendas.

K. Stereotypes: he’s focused on the work “out there,” plowing a field and working the farm; she’s centered on house and family.

E. And in my hypothetical musings on future interactions, I wondered, what if she wants to spend more time on projects that aren’t of prime interest to me - or, in my estimation, to "us"? How would this work, as I would not desire for us, in effect, to build separate lives with separate agendas? But this was a fear of the ego.

K. And the ego’s solution is to “lay down the law,” rein in the activity of rebels, construct fences and impose curfews, and say, no, you can’t do that, I want things run this way, I want you to be with me for my projects.

E. Now, even if this kind of disagreement occurred very rarely, she would be tempted to feel unsatisfied. She might “submit” and “obey” but, really, what good is this kind of strong-arm compliance? A marriage of Twins is an eternal bond, and this kind of governance by overruling another could never serve as basis of a union meant to last forever.

K. Eventually, it would mean trouble in paradise for them. The fact of the matter is, there’s something seriously wrong with this model of leadership. Well, it will work well enough for John and Mary in the world, they can get by on it, but it’s all terribly wrong for the eternal marriage.

E. There is much to say here. For example, in the next world, there will be no traditional dividing lines between male and female domains. He doesn’t go to work “out there” while the little women tends the house and kids. This whole scenario is obsolete and doesn’t work anymore.

K. In Summerland, and beyond, Twins do everything together. They have one seamless life of activities, with each fully involved in whatever they do. There is no patting the housewife on the head, with a kiss on the cheek, as he goes to make his way in the world. That’s dead on arrival as a way of living.

E. I’d like to share with everyone what I “saw” in a moment of wider vision. We’ve frequently referred to the yin-yang symbol:

E. Notice the two parts: they’re moving, they’re dynamic, glide-and-slide into each other. Strictly speaking, there is no “Wisdom is over here, and Love is over there, as two separate entities.”

K. They’re not really separate. Each merges and flows, with no clear border, into the other. Tell us what this really means, Elenchus. It’s rather shocking.

E. What it really means is this: Her domain – yes, it’s Love, but – is actually Wisdom from the point of view of Love. And his, we race to infer, is Love from the perspective of Wisdom.

K. How could it be otherwise? Is there any Wisdom, worthy of that term, which does not include Love? And is there any Love, properly defined, which does not temper itself with Wisdom? If a domain ignores its counterpart, a mockery is made of either focus.

E. Now, this is different, isn’t it, from what we might imagine to be a tradition-based concept; such that, “I’m Wisdom, and you’re just Love, and you need me to keep you from becoming silly.”

K. Or, “I’m Love, and you’re just Wisdom, and you need me to keep you from becoming heartless and rigid.”

E. But this is nonsense, for if either Love or Wisdom presented itself in these narrow, self-serving ways, each would immediately forfeit their august title. Let us remind ourselves, too, that each of these represents "two sides of a coin" of God's mind. Equal aspects. One is not superior to the other.

K. Earlier, we said that a condition of “loggerheads would never, ever occur between spiritually mature Twin Souls.” The operative word here is “mature.” Planet Earth is run by grasping egos, intent upon building empires, to bolster an inner neediness. There is much turf protecting. But this dysfunction could never lead the thinking of spiritually mature Twin Souls.

E. But many would pose the question, what about those instances where there’s disagreement? Who decides then?

K. Yes, who decides?

E. In a world run by egos, someone needs veto power. But, we will make ourselves sound naïve and foolish here to put forward that mature Twins would never attempt to overrule each other, would never move against the best judgment of the other. This could never happen. And tell us all, Kriss, why this is so.

K. Let’s make clear again – each has an equal power to make good decisions. There is no head honcho smart guy at the helm and there is no silly little woman at home. These notions are sexist monstrosities crafted by egos to gain power.

E. (silence)

K. Her ability to arrive at good conclusion is just as keen as his. Why? – because she is “Wisdom, from the perspective of Love.” And I dare anyone to try to beat that.

E. The fact of the matter is, he would never move against her best judgment - on anything.

K. Nor would she challenge his “Love, from the viewpoint of Wisdom.” This could never, ever happen.

E. And so, tell us, Kriss, will there never be a time when they see things differently?

K. Oh, they might see things differently, almost every day. But this is not a problem. Each will be looking at every life-activity from his or her own perspective: Love tempered by Wisdom, and Wisdom softened by Love. It’s seeing the same thing but from a different angle. Each viewpoint is as valid and as necessary as the other, and each marriage-mate will be keenly aware of the value.

E. Creativity is something real, a gift from God, comes to us individually, not as a group, or even a marriage union. One of them is going to see things a little more clearly, or inventively.

K. And now we’re getting “down to the rivets” of why neither Twin would ever think of “laying down the law” and “I’m head honcho, and I have final veto power.” This is a failed and dysfunctional governing system of “the sorrowful planet.”

E. Make it clear to us what this means.

K. It means that each marriage-mate, Love and Wisdom, regarding all decisions, will endeavor to stay very close to his or her “inner energies”, where we “meet with God” and receive divine guidance. Having done so, the Twin mates will discuss and thrash out what needs to be done. But, when they arrive at this state of “seeing clearly,” this unimpaired vision will never issue from egoic turf protecting.

a complete harmony and oneness, never a thought of usurpation

E. They would never, ever consider making a move toward any action unless, and until, the Wisdom and the Love of any proposed decision is confirmed by the other.

K. You know, Elenchus, let me shift gears here and mention something new in the “what we stay alive for” essay.

sacred alliance: heart versus soul connection

K. I am deeply touched by the concept that both of them, Love and Wisdom, each for and to the other, perceives a mate’s sacred presence as an overwhelming, throbbing, pulsating “quasar” of sacred union. And when this “river of energy” is experienced – trust me on this – it is unthinkable that either would ever dream of moving forward with a decision unless the counterpartal other was fully on-board with it.